Dear Violet and Ivy,
You'll be born any day now. Or any hour.
Our first gifts are your blank middle names. We hope you love them as much as we loved the process of choosing.
Without middle names during your childhood, you may occasionally feel like you're missing out. But give it until 25.
By then you'll learn that when you plant mature landscaping you leave no room for life to grow. And at that point you can pick the middle names that suit you best.
Between now and then, every time a parent at the playground turns their head in horror when I holler "VIOLET BLANK DEVINE" or "IVY BLANK DEVINE", you'll learn a bit more about what it means to be funny.
Love you lots,
Sean Michael Devine